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Subject: Fw: Fwd:
Technical Geniuses
This is an excerpt from a Wall
Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command
" Press Any Key" to " Press Return Key" because
of the flood of calls asking where the " Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a
caller complaining
that her mouse was hard to control with
the dust
cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic
bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called
to say he couldn't
get his computer to fax anything. After
40 minutes
of troubleshooting, the technician discovered
the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it
in
front of the monitor screen -and hitting the, "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer
called to complain that his
keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling
up his tub with
soap and water and soaking the keyboard
for a day,
then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a
call from a customer who
was enraged because his computer
had told him he was
"Bad and
an invalid." The tech explained that the
computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't
be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was
having trouble printing documents.
He told the technician that the computer had said
it
couldn't find printer." The user had also
tried
turning the computer screen to face the
printer-
but that his computer still couldn't "see" the
printer.
7. An exasperated caller to
Dell Computer Tech Support
couldn't get her new Dell
Computer to turn on.
After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician
asked her what happened when she pushed the
power button.
Her response,
"I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens."
"The foot pedal", turned out to be the
computer's mouse.
8. Another customer called
Compaq tech support to say
her brand new computer wouldn't
work. She said she
unpacked the unit, plugged it in and
sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to
happen.
When asked what happened when she pressed the
power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had
trouble installing software
and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK.
It said to put in the second disk,
and had some problems
with the disk. When it said to put
in the third disk,
I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized
that "Insert Disk 2" implied to- remove Disk 1
first.
10. A story from a Novell
NetWire SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech
Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help
you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken
-
and I am within my warranty period. How
do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a
cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my
computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's
because I am.
Did you receive this as part of
a promotional at a trade show?
How did you get
this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on
it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know
anything
about a promotional It just has '4X'
on it." At this point, the Tech Rep
had to
mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing
too hard. The caller had been using
the load drawer of the
CD-ROM drive as a cup
holder and snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon
help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows."
The woman responded, No, my desk is next to the door.
But that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window
and his printer is working fine.
12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob,
let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: "'P' on your keyboard,Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
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